so I’ve got this headcanon that Guardians of the Galaxy is really the Avengers playing a table top roleplaying game, where Bucky’s the DM who suffers through heaps and loads of trolling
Mostly from Steve
Especially from Steve
Which means Natasha was the one who sat down and wrote out the long, comprehensive backstory for her kickass space assassin Gamora, that Bucky keeps trying to work into the campaign but they keep getting sidetracked by –
Tony who just created what he sees himself as – the suave, wise-cracking space vagabond.
Thor who needed a lot of help building his character and decided on a couple easy to remember traits (Strong, honor, doesn’t get metaphors)
and Bruce who’s actually too busy to pay full attention so any time Bucky asks what he wants to do he just says “I am Groot” and lets Steve decide
Oh my god.
Headcanon accepted so hard
“We need to break out of this prison. Bucky, do I know anything about it?”
“Roll knowledge, Steve.”
“Seventeen.”
“From your years of experience and multiple prison escapes, you believe that if you can get one of the prison guard’s security bands to get into the watchtower, and one of the power cells to overload the security systems, you should be able to pull off an escape.”
“Perfect. Nat, you have sleight of hand trained, right?”
“Yes I do, Steve.”
“Alright, you get the wristband. Bruce, grab the power cell.”
“Yeah, sure, I am Groot.”
“Even in a board game, boy scout has to give the orders, huh?”
“Alright Tony, what’s-”
“Excuse me, my name Star Lord, thank you.”
“…Alright, Star Lord. What’s your plan?”
“Well…Bucky?”
“Knowledge, Tony.”
“…Four.”
“You’ve never been in prison before, so you have no idea. You think Rocket’s plan makes sense though.”
“Alright, fine. What do you want me to do, Captain Raccoon?”
“Only the most important for you, Space King. Bucky, does anyone in the prison have a robotic arm?”
“I swear if you’re going where I think you’re going with–”
“Okay, leg. Robotic leg, not arm.”
“Yes, there is one guy with a prosthetic leg.”
“Tony I want you to get me that guy’s leg.”
“…Why?”
“Just trust me, we need it for the plan.”
“Bucky, can I sense motive on Rocket?”
“Go ahead.”
“…These dice are weighted.”
“What?”
“What’d you get, Stark?”
“One.”
“Not only do you believe that Rocket needs the leg, you believe it is the single most important part of the plan. Without that leg, everything will fall to pieces.”
“Okay, fine, I’ll get the leg.”
“Perfect. Avengers, let’s get to work.”
“Removing the power cell will set off the alarm, so you believe you should start with–”
“I go remove the power cell.”
“…Bruce, that’s…not a good idea. Like I said, ripping that out will set off the alarm.”
“Right, exactly, sounds like fun. I go to rip it out.”
“But…but I spent all week coming up with persuasion and stealth scenarios for–-”
“This is what, a strength check?”
“…Yes Bruce, it’s a strength check.”
“I got a 20.”
“…You rip out the power cell with a single tug, setting off the alarm and alerting every single guard in the prison to your escape attempt. Roll for initiative, and remember that I hate all of you.”
So I remember there was a post awhile back about Sesame Street within the MCU doing an episode about helping kids to cope with the events of Thanos wiping out half of all life on Earth (I can’t find the post now but someone link me to it again, I liked it)
I want to take that idea and move it into a more positive light: If Sesame Street exists in the MCU, was there ever an episode where the Avengers were guest stars?
Did Tony Stark ever make an appearance? Did Oscar the Grouch ask where he got that fancy trash can? Does Peter secretly have that episode video taped and hidden somewhere?
Was there a running gag of Cookie Monster trying to eat Cap’s shield?
Was there an episode talking about Wakanda joining the United Nations and T’Challa showed up?
Dr Strange is stuck with space babysitting, but it’s not hard to keep Spidey entertained when you can use
✨ MAGIC
✨
My Spider-man fan zine will be launching next week, and i am SO excited to share it with you all! This piece and many other new illustrations will be included, stay tuned for more updates~ ;D
valm-melv28 