disregardcanon:

catra’s feelings for adora must be so complicated and tangled up and hard to sort through. because she loves adora, and in the bottom of her heart she wants her back, but thanks to shadow weaver drilling it into her that she was only kept around because adora liked her (like shadow weaver really didn’t want a pet but she let her kid have one and she was always very resentful of that fact and held it over both of their heads that I LET YOU HAVE THAT PET AND SHE SHIT ON THE FLOOR) and of course that contributed to catra’s shitty self-esteem and inability to forge proper emotional connections. 

and then there was always finishing just a little bit worse than adora, outwardly making the excuse that she just wasn’t trying and didn’t care about winning but that being a lie. and then there was the idea of adora “looking down on her” and only seeing her as that pet/sidekick that shadow weaver made their relationship out to be. 

and then when adora’s gone she’s finally getting some of that respect and freedom that she craves and she’s able to villainize adora in her brain because she LEFT HER and there’s all those pent up feelings of resentment and “you think you’re better than me” with adora taking what catra sees as both a stupid AND uppity route choosing the “greater good” over her. 

so. yeah. catra’s got a lot going on right now and i’m having feelings